A bump in the road.

God's plans are different than I think sometimes, and He uses those decisions for a better option. One of my prayer requests was financial support for the Musicians DTS in YWAM Denver this fall. Well, I suppose this wasn't the right DTS for me to go to! And God has other plans that I cannot entirely see. Yesterday I had called a lady named Carmen about my financial situation, as well as a few other things, and it ended up that I needed to go there with my $3,500 in hand when I got there on Monday. I do not have $3,500, and Monday is in five days. I must admit that I am a bit disappointed and shocked, of course, but the reality of it is this: it's hard to come up with $3,500 on just donations, which is exactly what I did. I prayed for a lot of things going into this DTS, and one thing that I remember telling God was this: "Lord, if I am to go to this, provide a way." So I suppose this is God's way of saying, like my ma told me, "Not now, but later." God has given me a peace about it all already, which I am extremely grateful for. Maybe there is more that I have yet to do in my small town of Watertown, maybe later isn't this next January, maybe I will go back to school instead. Until the next DTS (I'm thinking the Compassion DTS at the moment), I will be working and earning money to go, and if God wants me there, He will provide for me and show me. Who knows what is to happen - only God, and I am okay with that right now.

I have been learning a lot of things lately about trusting God with everything, as well as having complete and total faith in Him. I have been brought closer to Him through many recent convictions; I have looked at hopes of heaven and how I long for those around me to join in the jubilation. I have a devotional book that I read every morning (or at least try to), and ever since I started looking at stuff for YWAM He has taught me such incredible things every day, ranging from bitterness still held in my heart to looking more at who He is to me. He is Jehovah-shalom - the Lord is peace, He is Jehovah-raah - my caring shepherd, and He is Jehovah-rophe - the Lord who heals me. I am His child, and no matter what may happen or change, He is still there guiding me, like a shepherd guiding his sheep. As long as I am trusting in Him and walking in sync with the Spirit, He will show me the way in each and every step.

I'm not trying to use this to say, "I trust and have total faith all of the time!" Because, like everyone else, I am human and I do not all of the time. It is extremely difficult to lay down everything and let the Holy Spirit take over my sinful flesh. I make mistakes, I am broken, and I am weak, but God tells me that it's okay, picks up the broken pieces to make me whole again, and helps me in my weakness, giving me more strength to do His will with His Spirit within me. God is still at work.

Despite this bump in the road, I am still trusting Him and His faithfulness, because He is so worth it. I ask for prayer again that I will continue to trust and have faith in God's direction, wherever it is that He is leading me towards.

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me."

- John 14:1

"You hold my every moment, You calm my raging seas.

You walk with me through fire, You heal all my disease.

I trust in You.

I trust in You."