Speaking of which... It looks as if YWAM is a no-go for sure. I talked to the people that I needed to about my loans, and there is really no way that my loans can be deferred during that time. This news was pretty disappointing to me, but I feel more at peace about it now than the first time. I definitely would have loved to go and have three months of straight-up Jesus time, fellowship, and then two months of spreading the gospel and seeing God work in a country unknown to me, but I suppose God will be doing something else with me! No matter what, He has been extremely faithful to me and proven to me time and time again that I need to trust Him with all of my being; He wants me to surrender absolutely everything to Him at all times. Doing so has proven itself to be harder than I would have thought, which is surprising to me; however, I know that His love makes it worth it all.
Recently an opportunity came up for me that came out of nowhere, and I was honestly a bit too stubborn and weary to think of it as realistic. A few of my friends that go to Iowa State had been talking to me about an empty room in their apartment as of the end of this year, and they invited me to live there this coming semester. At first I thought that they had been joking, but, low and behold, they were not! Sooo... I am planning on moving there this coming January and going back to school, at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa majoring in Sociology. Wait, whaaat? Uh, yeah, I really don't know how that all happened. It just kind of did. Seriously, God never ceases to astound me with things that seem so random to me. He also pitches a really good curve-ball.
Perhaps I'll go to YWAM Denver once I'm done with school, going into other schools there, too, but we'll just have to see about that! If it would work out then, nifty! If not, there will be other ministry opportunities for me. I know that God would not have presented the opportunity to me if it would never happen; the door is still open for another time, kinda like China from a while back. One of my friends from back home is actually going to the base in Denver for the School of Communications and Graphic Design, so I'm suuuper stoked for her to go! I wish I could join her, but... well, ya know. In time. I'm just learning to take everything step by step.
At the end of this summer, I was told a piece of wisdom that I have held onto dearly ever since: Sometimes God only allows us to see what is right in front of us. Everywhere around us may be dark, but He lights the path just before us, and that is all that we really need to keep going. That is exactly how my life has been ever since this summer, where God has continued to tell me that He is worth seeking, even though I may not know where I am going and be blinded enough that I won't see the big picture. I haven't allowed myself to just sit here and let things that haven't worked out knock me down; instead, God has given me more strength to push past the obstacles to get where I need to be. He has given me the heart to keep going, even when I didn't want to anymore out of uncertainty. Fear won't take hold of me any longer, because I have a God that goes beyond my circumstances.
A passage that I have stuck by ever since last year is Proverbs 16:1-9, and it starts out by saying this: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord." This verse is later reworded in verse 9, but the message remains the same: "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Another one is this, verse 3: "Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established." These verses are my life.
At the end of this summer, I was told a piece of wisdom that I have held onto dearly ever since: Sometimes God only allows us to see what is right in front of us. Everywhere around us may be dark, but He lights the path just before us, and that is all that we really need to keep going. That is exactly how my life has been ever since this summer, where God has continued to tell me that He is worth seeking, even though I may not know where I am going and be blinded enough that I won't see the big picture. I haven't allowed myself to just sit here and let things that haven't worked out knock me down; instead, God has given me more strength to push past the obstacles to get where I need to be. He has given me the heart to keep going, even when I didn't want to anymore out of uncertainty. Fear won't take hold of me any longer, because I have a God that goes beyond my circumstances.
A passage that I have stuck by ever since last year is Proverbs 16:1-9, and it starts out by saying this: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord." This verse is later reworded in verse 9, but the message remains the same: "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Another one is this, verse 3: "Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established." These verses are my life.
All-in-all, I am an inconsistent being following a consistent and gracious God whose plans for me are greater than I could ever imagine. How crazy is it to think that a God, so holy and worthy of all praise, chooses to love an unworthy creature such as I? And, not only that, but He chose to forgive me and have mercy on me, then wants to use me to share His love to the nations, and He has placed within me His Holy Spirit. WHOA. That is the big picture that I had forgotten about.
My request from you is prayer, and lots of it. Specifically for me to grow closer to God, trusting in His sufficiency and provision, and figuring life out one step at a time. I also ask for prayer that I will be able to have complete faith and trust in Him, because He knows what He's doing.
Also, thank you to everyone that has been following this journey with me! I suppose a new one awaits me in the state with "Fields of Opportunities."
im glad things are working out!!!
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